I am not ALONE...

I admitted my mistakes. I know where I went wrong. I do know exactly the reason it became like that. I will definitely never repeat the same mistakes!!! I need to struggle like hell this time. I won’t play. I won’t join anything except doing my duty. I will achieve my target. I promise to not let those people who believe in me down anymore. I guess I can’t stand the guilt in me. Thanks for helping me. For showing me that, there’s a way to fix it. As I promise to you and to myself...I will keep it. I’ll never repeat the same mistakes!!!! I am full of motivation now!! But I’m still the one that you know before. I never change. Wish me luck 4 my new mission!! If I forgot, do remind me. Mad at me, I dun mind, as long as I’m in the right track!! I need a second chance...please God!! Make me strong!!

I'm falling to pieces....

I don’t know why but I feel like giving up for everything. Why I can motivate myself? Why can’t I think positive at this time? I really need to find myself back. I think I’m losing myself. I forgot who I am. I’m so sick of myself right now!!!!! God!! This secret really brings me down. I can’t tell anyone about it. Not even my sisters or my friends, and not even my parents. I really don’t know what to do. I wish I can fix it just like that, but I can’t!! I just can’t!! I’ve made a mistake and I’m too afraid to admit it. I tried not to think about it too often, but it keeps coming and I can’t control it!!!! I really need to tell s’one about it, and let them mad n lecture me for the whole weeks and wish that they will forgive me and helping me to stand up! (But I guess, it will never happen). I am afraid, I am afraid that as soon as they know about it they will hate me. Oh god!! Please show me the way. I really don’t know what to do. I’m totally not myself right now. I hate myself like this!! I really hate it!!! Only if, I can turn back time.....I really need a second chance....please, make me strong.

Hoping For Tomorrow...

I am so stupid, crying at the shopping complex. Gosh!!!! I hate this feeling. I thought today supposed to be a great day. But then it turns sooooooooooooo like crap!!!! I hate it every time he does that!! I really hate it, it hurt so much ok...God, Plz make me strong. I’m so sad until I don’t know where to found the item that I want to buy, eventhough, I’ve been here like thousand times!!! But then my lil sis keeps following me. I know she knows that I was crying. She understands what I felt and try to comfort me. Actually, I tried my best to hold my tears, until she came. Yeah...lucky me no one there when I was crying (so....childish..) Then my mom....owwhhh....(mom I know that you’re lying about ‘it’, it’s ok...I can understand it, ur too sweet mom...thanks...love you so much!!). I have to be strong. Yeah!!!! I should laugh now...out loud! (Forget about it....please...). But why I’m still crying.....maybe I should sleep. Yeah...I have to sleep...
HOPE TOMORROW WILL BE GREAT....